 Doing your research is an important first step in any worthwhile endeavor. It is vital when you are trying to decide whether homeschooling is the right choice for you and your family. Homeschooling is more of a lifestyle decision than simply an educational choice. It is a big commitment... one that affects your entire family for an extended period of time. Taking time on the front-end of the decision-making process allows you to determine whether homeschooling is a fit for you, your spouse and your children. By analyzing the pros and cons of homeschooling, whatever decision you reach will be one that brings you peace of mind that you are doing the right thing for your family.
Let's start by making a list of what may make you reluctant to homeschool your children. The potential drawbacks to homeschooling can be intimidating to prospective homeschoolers. Some drawbacks are valid and should be carefully considered as you research homeschooling. Other critiques are less valid and are often cited due to ignorance of what homeschooling is and what it means to homeschool. We'll start with the potential drawbacks, determine their validity and, from that point, you should be able to decide whether a particular drawback will be an issue in your unique situation.
The Challenges
*Socialization
We'll start with the big one first. Every prospective homeschooler will not only ask this question of herself, but will find herself faced with it from others. Even veteran homeschoolers hear this question on a regular basis. I could write a book on this. As a matter of fact, if you want to do further research, check out Rachel Gathercole's book, The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling. Gathercole lays out how homeschooling creates a great foundation for desirable social skills, and does an excellent job of demonstrating through research why the "socialization" fears are largely unfounded.
Unsupportive Family
Parents and other family members who were raised in a group schooling environment may be completely in the dark as to what homeschooling really means. Often, being in the dark means they don't support it because they don't know it. It can be hard when those closest to you don't support your efforts. It is important to remember that their lack of support for homeschooling doesn't translate into lack of support for you. Change is hard for all of us. Stay the course and in time, you will often find that those who questioned you the most turn into your biggest fans. Let the results of your efforts speak for themselves.
Time for Mom
This is a big one, and I want to speak to this with honesty. Out of all of the valid drawbacks to homeschooling (and this is one of those valid ones), this is the one that I struggle with most often. It is true that you will not have the time to yourself that you would have if your children went to a separate school. Your projects and hobbies will take more of a backseat than you'd like. To be frank, this is just a sacrifice that comes with the territory. When this challenge rears its head in my mind, I try to focus on the fact that rarely is there something worth doing that doesn't involve some sort of sacrifice. You will also find that you can create pockets of time for yourself (and your sanity) throughout the day. You may choose to instill a one to two hour daily quiet time. You may arrange for evening time on your own while Dad enjoys time with the kids. A little creativity goes a long way toward giving yourself time to regroup.
Messy House
When you are not home all day, there is no one there to make a mess. When you (and all of your children) are home all day, there are many people there... working on history projects, creating artistic masterpieces, and generally spreading themselves around. In other words, you are all really living in your home. And, it shows. The answer to this is two-pronged. First, you can create systems and expectations for maintaining order in your home. The systems give everything a home or process. Clear expectations ensure that everyone plays a part. The other piece lies in your own expectations. Decide what you need to feel peaceful and give yourself permission to be easy about the rest. Order is important, but don't allow perfectionism to override your other priorities. It will be up to you to draw an agreeable line.
Financial Constraints
If the other educational option you are considering is public school, finances may be a factor for you. Homeschooling requires some level of investment, although many moms are able to create an excellent educational experience for their kids without breaking the bank. By doing your research, you will be able to determine what is worth purchasing and what is better served by some of the free and low-cost resources that are out there.
*Increased Responsibility
The buck stops with you. It should anyway, but this concept can be intimidating. If your child isn't learning something, there is no teacher to blame, no principal to call. You need to figure out why. Then, you need to figure out how to fix it. You may need to do research on learning styles, go back and start a topic over, or try an entirely different route. Responsibility for base knowledge, comprehension and application lies on your shoulders. There is an up-side here, however. You also get to do these things. You can turn the tide of a challenging topic by applying what you know about your unique child to pull from them a greater understanding. Setting those wheels of learning in motion is more gratifying than you can imagine.
*Extra-Curriculars
You may or may not have access to your school system's activities. Regardless, you will have to be proactive to find some of the activities and/or supplemental experiences that you seek. Whether it's art classes, music lessons, sporting activities, or debate clubs, you'll have to put more energy into seeking these experiences out. The good news is that these types of activities are becoming more available every year. Check your local YMCA, music conservatory, parks and rec department, or homeschool coop and you are likely to find quality resources for activities, groups and field trip options.
Social Perceptions
People will be constantly questioning you. You may even be questioning yourself. When you are not prepared for your own doubts or the doubts of others, you run the risk of becoming side-tracked and losing focus. Write down why you have chosen to homeschool your children. A list like this is helpful not simply to handle the questions from others, but to give you a tangible tool to re-inspire you when you need it most - and we all need that inspiration sometimes!
*Patience
Your children, no matter how bright, will experience stumbling blocks in their learning. This will require you to develop patience. Now, you may already be a person gifted with this trait, however, for the rest of us, this can be challenging. It will take energy and resources from deep inside of you. I'd challenge you to think of it like this. How do we develop our muscles? We put stress on them and the stress helps them to grow. The same concept applies to our 'patience muscles.' The more they are used, the stronger they get.
The Craft Factor
Do you have visions of gratifying sessions sewing costumes for the little ones' history lesson? Or maybe you and pipe cleaners just don't get along? Being crafty is nice, if it's something you love and enjoy. However, it is not necessary for homeschooling. There are excellent products out there to help with experiments and activities. You do not have to do this by yourself.
I can really relate to this challenge. I enjoy and excel in certain things, however, crafts are not among them. For art, we utilize Grandma the Wonderful, who is an excellent artist and teacher. I buy lots of kits, and Dad helps out too. Most recently, he helped the boys craft molded mummies. He got so good at this, in fact, that he concluded that drywall compound worked better than the plaster. Who'd have guessed? Not me! Use your mommy resourcefulness to meet the craft challenge in a way that suits your temperament.
*Stretching your own mind
No teacher is omniscient. There will be subjects that you don't have a great deal of experience with. You will need to do your own research and preparation in order to help your children learn. You will have to engage in discussions with your children - especially as they get older - on topics on which you disagree. You will have to be able to think logically and guide your own children toward the answers their seek. On days when you feel challenged, remember how much you are learning as well. As we get older, we sometimes let our own learning fall by the wayside. Utilizing the challenge to create an attitude of lifelong learning in yourself is good for you and your children.
*Sheltering
I am going to say this loud and clear - unless you live on a deserted island, there is almost NO WAY you can shelter your children from the influences of our media-dominated culture! A bold statement, I know. However, too many homeschooling moms hear the same questions over and over. 'Don't you think you are sheltering your kids, though? Don't they need to be exposed to (bullies, sexual situations, peer pressure, fill-in-the-blank) so they know how to deal with it?' This is ignorance speaking in a loud way. No child deserves to be thrown into potentially harmful situations they are not prepared for. Children are resilient and they may turn out just fine, but that doesn't mean the experience was good for them. How many adults do you know put themselves in such situations so that they can 'practice' these skills? Your job as a parent is to protect your children and expose them to small pieces of culture while teaching them how to think logically about these pieces. By analyzing questionable activities in a safe environment, you give your children meaningful tools to use as they move through life.
We have covered a great deal of territory here and hopefully I have offered some good food for thought. One more thing...
Did you notice the little asterisks I placed next to many of the cons of homeschooling? Were you wondering why they are there? I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Their purpose is to illustrate which potential drawbacks to homeschooling are also potential rewards. If you read my blog, you already know that I firmly believe that life gives you what you put in. Most things worth doing in life are difficult... losing weight, learning a new language, raising children, giving time and dollars to an organization whose mission you believe in. All of these things are hard. All that hard work, though, results in something much more. If you work hard to lose weight, the result isn't simply a trimmer figure, you also experience renewed health, vigor and interest in life. Raising children takes an amazing amount of work and gives you a solid dose of frustration and worry on top of it. I'd bet, though, that when you see your sleeping 6-year-old or watch your 16-year-old give a meaningful speech, your heart can't even express the joy. Homeschooling fits right on top of that. When you decide homeschooling is right for your family, and you stay the course, you will see the joy in learning, the care for others, and the strength of your family and realize that the results are worth the effort.
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